The "Husband of One Wife" Qualification for Eldership
Presented to Grace Bible Church by Dann McCreary
November 28th, 1990
- A call to serious study and consideration (Acts 17:11)
Summary: The lists in I Timothy 3 and Titus 1 are not vague guidelines for
elders but rather lists of specific requirements. The phrase "husband of one
wife" is a qualification which we must understand and apply. A study of the
scriptural teaching on marriage, divorce, and remarriage is neccessary to
understand this qualification. The views we adopt today will be embodied in
our eldership tomorrow and will thus have a profound and ongoing affect on
the lives of all those within Grace Bible Church facing marriage issues.
I. The lists in Timothy and Titus present qualifications, not mere qualities.
A) The lists are prescriptive, not descriptive.
1) Timothy (must & if) & Titus (if & must) set conditions
B) The intent of the lists is to *exclude* the unqualified.
1) Example: Could I ever qualify as a widow in the congregation?
a) Are young widows discriminated against? I Tim 5:9
2) "a one woman man" must at least exclude women
3) "not a new convert" discriminates against new Christians
4) "able to teach" leaves out non-teachers
a) "Not all are teachers, are they?" I Cor 12:29, Jas 3:1
C) We may debate the meaning of some qualifications, or to what degree
they must be met, but they are still standards for selection.
D) Those who meet the qualifications have demonstrated outwardly,
publicly, and visibly in their life experience the required
character traits for being elder/overseer/shepherd (Jas 2:18).
E) Does this mean we have a danger of a different standard for leaders
than for everyone else? If in some respects it is different, so be it.
II. Therefore, we must determine the meaning of "husband of one wife".
A) Phrase "one woman man" is misleading because Greek also says
"of one wife a husband" or "husband of one wife"
1) Greek word meanings don't match English exactly
2) Word order in Greek emphasizes ONE wife
B) Simply taken, "one wife husband" precludes ALL the following:
1) Bachelorhood
2) Polygamy
3) Remarriage after divorce
C) Encompasses past history, and does not exclude widow or widower
1) I Tim 5:9 (but consider Deut 24:5, I Tim 3:4,5)
D) The phrase "one man woman" allows for widowhood/remarriage because death dissolves the marriage bond - Rom 7:1-4, I Cor 7:39
E) The phrase "one man woman" can only allow for divorce/remarriage if divorce has the exact same effect as death.
1) Deut. 24 - "former" husband can mean "first" husband
2) John 4:17 - Play on words, "I don't have A husband" (had 5)
3) What about John, Herod, Herodias, & Phillip? -
Mt 14:3, Mk 6:17-19, Lk 3:19
a) Unlawful because near relative? Regardless, Herodias had TWO husbands (Herod & Philip) Mk 6:17
III. We must study scripture's teaching on marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
A) Some questions which must be answered:
1) What can break a marriage bond?
2) Is divorce always a sin?
3) Is remarriage a sin?
4) What about forgiveness?
B) The broad testimony of scripture is that nothing short of death
can dissolve the marriage bond.
1) Rom 7:1-4 - wife bound to her living husband until death
2) I Cor 7:39 - as long as her husband lives
3) Mk 10:1-12, Lk 16:17,18 - divorce & remarriage == adultery
4) Lev 18:18 - cannot marry another while she lives
5) Deut 22:29 - cannot divorce all his days
6) Levirite marriage
a) as each brother dies, wife can (should) remarry
7) I Tim 5 (widows & remarriage)
C) Isn't divorce allowed in Matthew 5:31-32 and 19:3-12? This widely
held view must be a misunderstanding because it is completely
inconsistent with the context and other scripture.
1) absence of "exceptive clause" in gospels other than Matthew
2) Paul's exposition in I Cor 7 controverts this understanding
3) forgiveness is the standard (see previous chapter, Mt 18)
4) husband must love wife "as Christ loved the church" - Eph 5
a) The headship principle
5) allowing divorce & remarriage weakens the picture of
salvation in Romans 7 (we can escape law our own way)
6) to allow divorce is to abandon eternal security
a) Joseph in Mt 1:19 - "a righteous man .. put her away"
b) Christ & Church in II Cor 11:2 - "Espoused to ONE"
7) no basis here for wife divorcing husband or for remarriage
8) Christ is actually abolishing the single OT ground for divorce
a) consider the disciples reaction (Mt 19:10)
D) What about forgiveness, are the forgiven now qualified?
1) Would forgiveness qualify women for eldership?
2) Sins, even if forgiven, continue to have consequences.
a) children, reputation, visitation rights, etc.
3) Marriages & divorces are matters of public record (reputation)
IV. We must be aware of potential dangers in settling this issue.
A) Danger of being swayed because we are too close to an issue
1) Example: my children v eldership qualifications - Titus 1:6
2) Example: children of divorce
3) Example: those presently divorced, remarried, etc.
B) Danger of Pharisaism
1) Mat 23:4 "burdens greivous to be borne"
C) Danger of haste
1) To say today "husband of one wife" unequivocally does not
apply to a divorced man may be presumptious
2) I Tim 5:22, Prov 18:17, I Cor 14:29-32, Acts 17:11
D) Consequences of a wrong decision
1) For the potential leaders involved - I Cor 12
2) For our children - a long-term legacy
3) For the congregation
a) Precedents are hard to change - Mat 19:22-24
b) It is harder to go back than to wait
Conclusion: If there is a potential of error through either rapid action in
the absence of adequate knowledge or presently restricting some rights
through delay engendered by further study, let us (at least initially) err on
the side of caution.